written by Sarah Doleschal (nuts&needles)
Self harm is a complex and often misunderstood behavior in which a person intentionally causes harm to themselves. Self-injury is a coping mechanism for many people with mental illness. It can be a way to express feelings that are otherwise difficult to communicate, or it can be used as a means to gain a sense of control in an otherwise chaotic world.
You may have heard the term before, but do you know what self-injury actually means? Self-harming behavior includes cutting, burning, scratching, hitting your head on things (also known as "headbanging"), or otherwise intentionally causing yourself pain.
It can take many forms, such as pulling hair, picking at skin, hitting or biting oneself, burning or cutting oneself with objects, or hitting oneself in the head.
Self harm behaviors are commonly associated with mental health disorders such as borderline personality disorder (BPD), post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, and anxiety disorders. Other factors that may contribute to this behavior include bullying and trauma.
It is important to remember that self-injury is not about suicide - it is a coping mechanism to deal with difficult feelings and situations. Self-injury is not just about cutting yourself, but also about picking at scabs on your skin or banging your fist against the wall when you are angry.
What causes self harm?
Self harm behavior is a complex disorder that has attracted the attention of clinicians, researchers, and families alike.
There are many theories about how self harm develops. It may be triggered by a traumatic event or stressful situation from which a person cannot extricate themselves. Some people may have an underlying psychiatric condition such as borderline personality disorder or bipolar disorder. Others may have an intellectual disability or autism spectrum disorder.
Some people learn self harm from others, such as their parents or caregivers. Some people use it as a coping mechanism for feelings of despair and anxiety. People who self-injure often report feeling numb or disconnected from their body and mind when they engage in this behavior.
People who engage in this behavior have often experienced trauma, such as abuse or neglect. They may have trouble controlling their anger, frustration, and other emotions. They may also use drugs or alcohol to cope with the pain of their past experiences.
What challenges do affected individuals face?
The challenges for people affected by self harm are many.
Self-injury is a complex and often misunderstood behavior that can be difficult to manage. Self-injurers may have significant problems managing their emotions so that they do not hurt themselves or others. They may have difficulty managing stress, trauma, and loss in a healthy way, and they may have difficulty regulating their moods.
There are many reasons why someone may self-harm, including:
- Stress or anxiety
- Depression or other mental illness (e.g., borderline personality disorder)
- Trauma from sexual abuse or other types of physical injury (e.g., cutting)
- Low self-esteem/self-esteem.
How can self harm be treated?
While there are no easy answers to how to deal with self harm, there are some things you can do to help your loved one when they show signs of this behavior.
DOs in dealing with those affected
Self-injury is a difficult problem to deal with, but there are some things you can do to help.
First, make sure that you take care of yourself. It's easy to get lost in the situation and forget about your own needs, but it's important that you find a way to take care of yourself so you don't burn out or get sick yourself. That might mean taking time each day to do something that relaxes you or that you enjoy - maybe reading a book or watching TV - or even just making sure you get enough sleep each night. It could also mean making time for exercise or other activities that help relieve stress and anxiety.
Also, make sure you have access to any resources or support groups in your community. If possible, try to talk to other people who have been through the same thing as you so they can give you advice and support. You can also call Telefonseelsorge Deutschland (0800 111 0 111) if you feel overwhelmed or hopeless. Someone there is available 24/7 to talk to you about options locally and nationally.
Here are some of the most important things to remember:
1. Don't panic. You may feel like your mind is racing and your heart is pounding, but take a deep breath and try not to overreact. Your loved one needs you, but he also needs you to be calm so he can trust that you can support him when he needs it most.
2. Support whatever decision your loved one makes next - even if it seems wrong or dangerous at first! Self-harm is often an attempt by people who feel helpless or hopeless to regain some measure of control over their lives. By supporting their decision, even if it seems strange, you will help them feel validated, which will help them feel more confident about their choices in the future.
3. Ask questions! There are many reasons why people self-harm; some use it as an outlet for feelings they can't process any other way (e.g., anxiety). In this way, you can get in touch more deeply and address the original problem together.
DON'Ts in dealing with those affected
The most important thing to remember when dealing with a loved one who is self-harming is that this behavior is not about you. It is about them, and it is their way of coping. So when you see a loved one hurting themselves, it's important to remember that you can't control what they do. You can only control how you respond.
Avoid things like:
- Giving advice or trying to improve the situation
- Arguing or fighting back
- Try to make the person feel bad for what they are doing
- Don't pressure them to do things they don't want to do.
- Avoid using phrases like "I'm worried about you" or "This is wrong."
- Don't ask them if they will hurt themselves while they are with you.
- Don't blame yourself for their actions: Self-injury is not your fault and does not make you a bad person for struggling with it. Don't take the blame for their actions - it's not your fault!
- Don't make them feel ashamed: They may worry about what other people will think of them if they find out about their self harm, but don't let that fear stop you from being honest and open about it with your loved one. It's important that he or she feels comfortable talking to you so they can get help without feeling judged or shamed by those around them.
- Don't lose hope: self-injury can be a long journey, and there will certainly be ups and downs along the way - that's okay! Just remember that every day without self-injury is a step toward recovery and better mental health overall.
- Don't tell them they need therapy or medication. They probably already know that and may not want it.
- Don't try to force them into treatment if they don't want it. If they are not ready for treatment, forcing them into it will do more harm than good.
- Don't tell them how bad their scars look or ask them how they got them. This will only make them feel worse about their appearance, and most people who self-harm have enough to deal with without someone else making them feel worse!